nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
