Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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