hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
