Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
