I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
