Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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