Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
