hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I am spending my child support on dildos
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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