I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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