East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
