you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My vagina is officially offended.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
