So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
