yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
