You made me cry and you don't even care
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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