That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
