Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
