I can tuck mytits in my pants
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Randomize
