It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
