the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
