Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
