i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
