You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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