Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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