closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
