it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
