My Higher Power is John Stamos
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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