Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
