Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
