I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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