69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
