I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
