I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
