I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
