I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
