I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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