i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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