ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Success! We fucked roommates!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
