I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
