Only a mothe r could love this liver
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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