Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Acid is not a monday night drug
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
