okay pat passed out under dana's car
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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