just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
