As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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