Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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