We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
