Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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