at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize