i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
