We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
