So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
