oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
