i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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