In the future we'll all be gay
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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