I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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