I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize