I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
