sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
