I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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